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Lil Fatty

November 10, 2010 @ (Cali)

I went to Spencer's last week and saw this hilarious book entitled Dirty Sanchez Nation: The Ultimate Illustrated DICKtionary of Obscene Sex Terms. I had to get it, and being the pig that I am, at least try some of the terms with the chick I've been hooking up with. So I figured start off small. I've given her facials a few times, but this time I told her it was my fantasy to pee on her (golden shower p. 40). She was a little apprehensive at first but eventually let me do it in the shower.

The next night, we got into some really hot sex and I was nailing her form behind when I decided to do the Tony Danza (p 109). I asked her "Who's the boss?" They she turned her head back and said "what?". Then I smacked her in the face (lightly) and said "Tony Danza bitch!" Needless to say wasn't happy and threw me off.

She was kind of getting on my nerves lately and I kind of wanted her to break up with me so I figured I'd go for gold. A few days later we meet up and started to have make up sex (isn't it just fabulous). So I'm banging her from behind and I figured why not be a pig. I stuck my finger in her butt. She kind of liked it. But unbeknownst to her suddenly I discovered some nuggets. Oh yes, this was the grand finale. I pulled the finger out and reached around and gave her a shit stache to remember!

There she was - Dirty Sanchez in the flesh. I was officially the biggest asshole on the planet. She cursed me out and ran out. Haven't heard from her since. This book has got me messed up. But for some reason I can't put it down and stop laughing.